Most men find themselves in unfamiliar territory when they have their first face-to-face date with a lady that they met online. It is always easier to put up a glamorous profile and attract lots of hits from potential dates. However, after filtering through the many prospective dates and finally settling on one potential catch, www.datingadvice.com advises that it is now time to take your relationship to the next level by meeting the chosen one physically. This is where the rubber meets the road.
It’s always advisable to take your online relationship to the next level of the real world before firmly establishing a virtual online rapport that might easily turn awkward and pretentious when you finally meet your online partner in person. First physical dates, especially those emanating from relationships kicked off online shouldn’t be complicated as such, only that there are a few precautions that you need to take before plunging into that crucial first date. Here are a few tips on how to go about it.
Most online dating advice on safety precautions for first dates tends to address women more than men for obvious reasons. Ladies are more vulnerable to sexual predators who roam the cyberspace searching for easy prey. In most cases, it is ladies who end up falling into traps of sexual predators and this might easily put them in compromising or threatening situations. Therefore, it is understandable when the woman you are meeting for the first time seems nervous and treats you as a suspect.
Women who are going to meet a man for the first time are always reminded to take precautions such as: meet in a public place, ensure that someone close to you knows exactly where you will be and with whom, make sure that you carry your cell phone and, finally, have a well thought out exit strategy. If you take a minute to think about it, you can understand why the lady is justified to be nervous on your first date. It doesn’t matter how strong the rapport that you strike online might be. Once you meet physically, the first thing that she will try very hard to find out is whether you can be trusted or not.
Her suspicions and nervousness are in no way a reflection of who you really are. It may not matter whether you sing in your church choir or you spend your weekends helping the less fortunate. If she chooses to hold back some information or is unwilling to be alone with you in a more private place, just let her be and don’t pressure her. Her nervousness is just an act of common sense. However, the common sense goes both ways since the man should also be taking such precautions on a first date.
According to the sex therapist and author, Dr Joy Davidson, your first meeting is definitely about you, but you must remember that the stakes are generally higher for her. She quips that getting ready to meet a man for the first time takes the same amount of time and effort like it would take to prepare for her first real date. She will take time to meticulously do her hair, carefully apply makeup and finally choose the perfect dress for the occasion. This takes an hour or more of her time. There is no doubt that you won’t be spending even half of that time to get ready. You, therefore, must respect her investment and make the meeting worth her while.
According to www.datingadvice.com, it would be appropriate to take the lady to a place where you would actually take a real first date. Probably a lunch or even a drink in a nice environment will make a much better first impression than just coffee at a local restaurant. Treating the lady with respect, paying the bills and generally being nice will gain you instant points.
The worst mistake you can make in online communication is assuming that the rapport you strike online is enough. You must bear in mind that there is always a big chance that the person you have known online is actually not what she seems to be. As a matter of fact, men are not the only marauding predators hunting for their next prey online. You must be wary of broken toys looking for someone to “fix them.” If your date seems too eager to go with you to any lengths or shows too much interest in your finances, or just makes you have a bad feeling about demeanour, you need to be extra cautious.
If one starts making future plans in your first meeting or is willing to go to bed with you on the first day, then be ready to deal with a sticky and dependent type of woman, advises Davidson. Always take note of the kind of questions she asks. As much as some of the information is designed to safeguard her; some information might be outright inappropriate. For instance, there will be no need to discuss intimate details of past relationships. You just need to trust your instincts whenever something feels or looks weird.
Above all, men should be careful about getting so much engrossed in their own fantasies about their dates that they miss noting the obvious telltale signs that would otherwise warn them about the woman. Davidson warns that it is very easy for one to be his worst enemy, especially when your fantasies and hopes clash with reality; you might end up focusing more on the fantasies while making excuses or rationalising the reality. Men are just as vulnerable to this situation as women. Therefore, men need to exercise the same degree of self-awareness as that prescribed for women in order to avoid getting caught up in a mess. If your guts tell you that something is amiss, run for the hills.